Style Invitational Week 1289: Fake gnus — animal fictoids Plus winning wrong-but-creative answers to trivia questions In the Southern Hemisphere, a falling cat always lands on its back. (Not.) (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) by Pat Myers July 19 Email the author // (Click here to skip down <#report>to the winningly wrong answers to trivia questions) *In the Southern Hemisphere, a falling cat always lands on its back.* (Bob Mulvaney) *Bats urinate only while perched upside down. The noxious odor coats their * *bodies with a scent that repels predators. *(Patrick Mattimore) *Director Chuck Jones based the Porky Pig character on a real stuttering pig his parents once owned.* (Brendan Beary) This week’s results got the Empress in the mood for another call for totally bogus trivia. *This week: Tell us a fictoid — a humorously false “fact” — about the nonhuman animal kingdom, *as in the examples above; all of them were inking entries in our first, general fictoid contest, Week 702 back in 2007. (Amazingly, a full 11 years later, each of them is still untrue, as far as we know.) Submit entries at the website *wapo.st/enter-invite-1289* (all lowercase). Winner gets the *Lose Cannon, * our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a triple-pack of *Useless but Nifty Paired Animal-Appendage Finger Ornaments* — tentacles, cat paws, and human hands — donated by Loser Ann Martin. Plus one *Elephant Trunk Finger Ornament,* from Inge Ashley. *Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.” Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “We’ve Seen Better” or “IDiot Card.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). *Deadline is Monday night, July 30; *results published Aug. 19 (online Aug. 16). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . The headline “To Err Is Humor” is by Jesse Frankovich; Kevin Dopart wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev . “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday ; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter. *The Style Conversational * The Empress's weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv . And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . . *TO ERR IS HUMOR: THE WRONG ANSWERS OF WEEK 1285* In *Week 1285* the Empress asked for a typical trivia question accompanied by a humorously wrong answer. 4th place: *Q: Centuries before it became traditional, Archduke Maximilian of Austria became the first recorded person to give what to his bride-to-be?* /Correct:/ A diamond engagement ring. /Bad guess:/ Chlamydia? (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.) Second-place liar about animals gets all these appendages plus a finger-elephant-trunk. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post) 3rd place: *Q: What color are Smurfs?* /Correct: / Blue. /Wrong: / Red, after they’ve been steamed. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.) 2nd place and the horrible golf tees shaped like women's bodies: *Q. Which North American mammal nests in other mammals’ bedding?* /Correct:/ The short-tailed weasel. /So wrong:/ Scott Pruitt. (Well, actually . . .) (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.) And the winner of the Lose Cannon: *Q. Where does the expression "Hasta la vista, baby" come from? * /Correct: /The movie "Terminator 2." /Wrong guess: / The Spanish proficiency test for ICE agents? (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.) The alt-wrong: Honorable mentions *Q: The NFL recently announced that what action will incur a penalty?* /Correct:/ Hitting with the helmet. /Guess: /Offending Donald Trump? (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.) *Q: Au is the symbol for what chemical element? * /Correct:/ Gold. /Incorrect: / Cutekittium. (Dan Helming, Maplewood, N.J.) *Q: And which element is Pb?* /Correct:/ Lead. /Guess:/ Peanut butter? (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.) *Q: What fabled angry little troll would take away your firstborn child if you couldn’t guess his name? * /Correct:/ Rumpelstiltskin. /So wrong!: /Jeff Sessions? (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.) *Q: Cheddar cheese originated in which country?* /Correct: /England. /Guess: /Kraftghanistan? (Tom Witte) *Q: What is the only Division I college team to take its nickname from a U.S. politician?* /Correct:/ The Austin Peay Governors. /Incorrect:/ The Syracuse Orange. (Gregory Koch, Falls Church, Va.) *Q: What state was named for one Thomas West? * /Nope: /West Virginia? /Correct:/ Delaware: West was Baron de la Warr. (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.) *Q: In response to current events, this business recently changed its name, removing any reference to its founder.* / Correct:/ Trump SoHo Hotel. /Wrong:/ Edward Coli Lettuce Farms. (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis) *Q. During a Passover Seder, what is traditionally said regarding strangers who are poor and have no place to go?* /Correct:/ “Let all who are hungry come and eat!” /NOT correct:/ “WOMP, WOMP.” (Nan Reiner, Boca Raton, Fla.) *Q: Per a recent fad, what “spy” is placed inside a house, reporting back to Santa on who has been naughty and nice?* /Correct:/ The Elf on the Shelf. /Guess:/ Alexa? (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.) *Q. Who famously said, “I never met a man I didn’t like”? * /Correct:/ Will Rogers. /Incorrect: /Hannibal Lecter. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.) *Q: The band Imagine Dragons claims its name is an anagram. Which one did the group most likely have in mind?* /Most likely:/ Raging Mad Noise. /Least likely:/ Gonad Migraines. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.) *Q. The Bill of Rights is composed of how many amendments? * /Correct:/ Ten. /So wrong: /One: the Second. — D.J.T. (William Kennard, Arlington, Va.) *Q. What does the acronym NASA stand for?* / Correct: /The National Aeronautics and Space Administration. /Incorrect:/ Not, Apparently, a Space Agency (Dan Helming) *Q. What renowned theater figure said, “There are no small parts, only small actors”? * / Correct:/ Konstantin Stanislavski. /Oh, no:/ Peter Dinklage. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.) *Q: Who was the lead of the pop group Spanky and Our Gang? * ** /Correct:/ Elaine McFarlane. /Wrong: /Stormy Daniels. (Kevin Dopart, Washington) *Q. Where is Mount Rushmore?* /Correct:/ //South Dakota. /Guess: / New York City? (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.) *Q. On what date did the South surrender?* /Correct:/ April 9, 1865. /Alternative answer: /It did? (Ira Allen, Bethesda, Md.) *Q: In “Of Mice and Men,” what California man wants only to pet bunnies? * /Correct: /Lennie. /Not at all correct: / Hugh Hefner? (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.) *Q. An ancient-alien theorist is a person who believes what? * / Correct: /That extraterrestrials helped humankind to develop civilization. /Alternative answer:/ Anything. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.) *Q: What was Richard M. Nixon’s middle name?* /Correct:/ Milhous. /Noooo: /Madhous. (Dinah Rokach, Silver Spring, Md.) *Q: Who composed the Minute Waltz?* /Correct: /Frédéric Chopin. /Guess:/ George Minute? (Art Grinath) *Q: What is the heaviest naturally occurring substance found on Earth? * /Correct:/ Uranium. /Guess:/ Urmama? (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) *Q: What 10th-century Buddhist text established the line of succession of Dalai Lamas?* /Correct:/ The Book of Kadam. /Guess: /“Children of a Lhasa God”? (Chris Doyle) *Q: What is the slogan of Melania Trump’s public-service campaign?* /Correct:/ “Be best.” /So wrong:/ “Be best.” (Lisbeth McCarty, Norman, Okla., a First Offender) *Still running — both deadlined Monday night, July 23: Song parodies about the news (wapo.st/invite1287); * and *Disclaimers and product warnings (wapo.st/invite1288 )*. *DON’T MISS AN INVITE! * Sign up here to receive a once-a-week email from the Empress as soon as The Style Invitational and Style Conversational go online every Thursday, complete with links to the columns.